My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize