I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We named our party play list daddy issues
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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