lets start a swedish sibling band together
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize