I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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