You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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