no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
