I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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