my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
