Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
