I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
