Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
