I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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