What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
