The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
