I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
