So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
