its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
