So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
