Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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