Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
