yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
