You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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