just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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