She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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