I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
