It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
