I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
