Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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