Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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