yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
