Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
