So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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