There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
