found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
the condom got lost in my hair
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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