Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize