how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
