uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
