Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
