If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
