ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
