I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize