No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
