She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
