I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
