upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We were destined to go to rehab together
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
