Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I booty called her while she was in labor.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're a waste of cheezeits
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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