whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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