just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Randomize