Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
