I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
