Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
