don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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