it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
