he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
