Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
