My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
