glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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