Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
