He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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