This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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