I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
