i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
