if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
