he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
