Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
