I cockslap morals
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
