I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize