Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
