Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
