Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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