She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he shaved USA in his pubs
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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