the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My liver just had a heart attack.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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