some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You ruined the universe
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
